my body is a machine that turns dicks into rare gems and artifacts

my body is a machine that turns rare gems and artifacts into sucked dicks

my body is made of rare gems and artifacts that turn sucked dicks into machines

thats really scary you should go to the hospital

my body is normal

grow up

yeah whats youre problem

agrees to do petplay and she immediately euthanizes me

oh i got access to google's ai thing

we're so fucked guys

i love how none of you are normal

guy who starts worrying he doesn't dream enough

TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.

via reddit.com

Jesus ffucking christ bro.

Seems like he had an oral fixation… Almost as if he were replacing the cigarette with… No i shant say…

Then we’ll all say it together

F

O

R

F

R

O

D

O

Baby platypus
By: Unknown photographer
From: Disney's Wonderful World of Knowledge
1971

Eventually as pickups get bigger & more lifted, theyll be able to drive over a child without the kid even touching the undercarriage - completely safe, rendering the truck domesticated. This is called the negation of the negation

A 50-kilogram anvil floats perfectly on the surface of mercury, because the density of the steel from which it is made is almost half the density of mercury.

damn that shit is light lmfao

Fun fact! Many lighthouses with especially large fresnel lenses would have huge fucking tubs of liquid mercury in the lantern room because it’s a super easy way to make these giant lenses rotate quickly!

Shockingly, however, spending most of your time in close proximity to 500 pounds of liquid mercury is Not Great For One’s Health and tons of lighthouse keepers started to go crazy from the whole. Mercury poisoning thing. Hence why there are a lot of “haunted” lighthouses or wickies that lose it and maybe do a bit of manslaughter.

Anyway, people saw a bunch of lighthouse keepers go crazy and get sick and got empirical evidence that it was in fact related to the 500 pound mercury bath they have to visit every day and then they decided nah it’s fine actually. So we’ve kept the liquid mercury thing and I think that’s beautiful

I love how it is so dense it does not "wet" the anvil, the drops all run and leave with nothing behind them unlike water, oil, sauce... it's super satisfying it's like in cartoons

After seeing this post I am no longer taking criticism for my mercury storage practices.

You Can Tell A Lot about Someone theough Repeated exposure to them and the usage of your.e observational skills

Dear tumblr staff,

stop. its ok. you don’t need to do these things. just focus on functionality(like the video player). we don’t need these little updates when somethings(like the video player) need your focus. thank you for your time but really, tumblr looks great. try to fix more important things(like the video player) so that we can all properly enjoy the features of tumblr(like the video player)

This post is a decade old this year.